The Root of Pornography
A statement was just recently found that really made sense to me.
"The root of pornography is not lust, but rather the root of pornography is anger and other emotion beyond that." - Covenant Eyes
At the very least the emotions themselves of anger and shame are signals and factors that point us toward making decisions to behave certain ways. Anger in its healthy form would indicate we are craving "respect and protect for ourselves and others." Shame is the emotion of "limits or boundaries" and the emotion indicates when we have violated our identity.
Learning more about research and meanings of what drives both sexes to seek out pleasure through visual stimulation or emotional sources, it makes more sense that it is not a random act, but something that is driven. Another subsequent driving component is the relationship of shame and anger in the cyclical nature of it's hurt, trading one for another so there is lack of definition to ones self respect and identification of ones essence.
We as humans feel some senses of shame all the time, and sometimes it is very good to be shameful of overstepping limits or boundaries. When interpreted as a good limit shame drives us to expose our mistake and bring us into better relationships with truth.
When anger becomes a force that pushes us past the limits of shame or guidelines of accepted truth, causing disrespect of self or others, we are ashamed of our behavior and action that was disrespectful and unrighteous. We have a definite cycle of cause and effect which is easy to remain in and the potential to become toxic is high. Should we not expose the error and heal by doing so, we remain in the clutch of it's cycle. It is counter intuitive to think that I need to expose my secret ways, be less perfect by exposing my secret ways, or use pornography, because porn creates a temporary reward for those who frequent it.
Another portion of learning and becoming more understanding is an exploration with a counselor regarding a persons affinity or pattern of enjoyment of pornography. In the right context of desiring healthy living and healing by exposing the secret in a healthy way to a trusted relationship, the power of porn will point to certain times or injuries in which the pornography became the addiction or coping of an individual because of a desire to overcome or be more powerful in their private lives. In addition the power of secret lives indulging in porn compensates for public lives of shame and perceived weakness in social gatherings, workplaces, or beliefs.
Practical application of this occurs as an example when children are exposed by other peers to pornography at the same time in life as their significant trust relationships with adults has an injury. The lack of adult connection due to the injury toward the child and lack of subsequent intimate healthy adult attachment to the child leads to shame or anger presenting itself in the child. To counterbalance the emotions of shame or smallness of identity, a desire to obtain power becomes a need within the heart of a child or wounded individual.
Frequently the display of pornography is purposefully engineered to engage in fantasy of control and power. Seduction itself induces a temporary surrender of one, or servitude of one, to appease and esteem another's wishes. These scenarios are played out in various forms and fashions within controlled atmosphere. If one has a day full of insecurity, wonder, lack of power, and fears of failure, one can easily see how porn is an easy outlet to gaining a fake, pseudo form of power to counter balance the pain of a public reality that is perceived as weakness or emptiness in the individual. Anger toward the weakness one might experience at work is remedied by fantasizing about how one could be bigger, in control and powerful.
Subsequent results of this continual manner of coping reveals however an added layer of dependence, cyclical needs, and decrease in belief of self in the real world because there is no need to satisfy relationships that are healthy.
Healthy relationships take time, effort, and trust. Porn is instant, nothing to work for, and no vulnerability or relationship. Make your choice.