Letting Go to Heal: Understanding Addiction and the Power of Moving Forward
Letting Go to Heal: Understanding Addiction and the Power of Moving Forward
When we’re stuck in pain, whether from addiction or emotional trauma, it often feels as if the only way to cope is to hold on tight to that hurt. We believe that if we let go, we’re somehow ignoring what happened or, even worse, that it doesn’t matter. But healing is not about forgetting what happened. It’s about making a conscious choice to stop reliving the same wound over and over again. Dr. Harold Urschel and Dr. Henry Cloud both emphasize that real healing comes from understanding the brain’s response to pain and learning how to move forward.
Healing the Addicted Brain: The Science Behind Addiction
In his book Healing the Addicted Brain, Dr. Harold Urschel explores addiction not just as a behavioral issue, but as a medical condition rooted in the brain’s biology. Addiction is a disease that alters the brain's reward system, particularly in the way it processes dopamine and other neurotransmitters. This biological shift creates a cycle where the brain craves the reward of substances or behaviors, even when it leads to harm.
The brain’s adaptation to addiction means that individuals struggling with it don’t simply choose to “stop” — their brains have rewired themselves, making it difficult to break free from the cycle of addiction. Healing, according to Dr. Urschel, involves both medical treatment to address the chemical imbalances in the brain, and therapy to help rebuild the connections and coping strategies needed for long-term recovery.
Letting Go of the Past: Dr. Henry Cloud’s Perspective
Dr. Henry Cloud, in his work around personal growth and emotional well-being, talks about the power of letting go of the very things that hurt us the most. In his words,
"Holding onto what hurt you won't make it hurt less. Sometimes we stay stuck in pain because we think that letting go means it doesn't matter. But healing isn't forgetting - it's choosing to stop reliving the same wound."
This concept is incredibly relevant to addiction recovery. Many people remain trapped in the cycle of addiction because they hold on to past hurts — trauma, rejection, loss, or even past failures. The pain becomes so familiar that it feels like a part of their identity. Letting go feels like abandoning that pain, and for some, that is too terrifying.
But in order to heal, we must be willing to make the conscious choice to stop reliving the same wound. Dr. Cloud encourages us to see that healing doesn’t mean we forget the past or minimize its impact. Rather, it means that we no longer allow the pain of the past to dictate our present reality. We stop letting old wounds hold us hostage.
The Intersection of Addiction and Emotional Pain
The connection between emotional pain and addiction is crucial. Many individuals turn to substances or addictive behaviors as a way to numb the emotional wounds they’re carrying. The brain becomes conditioned to seek out relief in the form of a quick “fix” — whether it’s drugs, alcohol, or other behaviors — but this is only a temporary solution that ignores the deeper issue: the need to heal the pain.
In his book, Dr. Urschel talks about the importance of addressing the brain’s chemical imbalances, but he also underscores that healing requires more than just medication or detoxification. It involves recognizing the emotional triggers that led to addiction and choosing healthier ways to cope. The true path to recovery is about reprogramming the brain and the heart — learning to let go of the past pain and to build new, healthier patterns of thinking and living.
Choosing to Let Go: How to Start Healing
Dr. Cloud’s statement invites us to reflect on the things we need to let go of in order to heal. Whether it’s the shame of past mistakes, the trauma of betrayal, or the emotional scars of addiction itself, letting go is about reclaiming our power. It’s about choosing to stop reliving those wounds and to stop allowing the past to hold us back from a future of healing and freedom.
Letting go can look different for everyone, but here are a few steps to consider:
Acknowledge the Pain – You can’t let go of something you don’t recognize. The first step is to acknowledge what hurt you and how it continues to affect you. Only by recognizing the wound can you begin to heal it.
Seek Professional Help – Whether it’s through addiction treatment, therapy, or emotional coaching, finding professional guidance can be a crucial part of the healing process. Dr. Urschel advocates for a holistic approach to addiction recovery that includes both medical treatment and psychological support.
Practice Self-Compassion – Letting go of pain doesn’t mean beating yourself up for having the pain in the first place. Healing requires understanding and compassion for yourself. Be kind to yourself as you navigate the process of letting go.
Create New Patterns – Healing involves replacing old, unhealthy patterns with new, healthier ones. This could mean learning new coping mechanisms, developing new relationships, or adopting new habits that support your well-being.
Choose to Move Forward – Each day is an opportunity to choose healing. Letting go is a decision you make every day. It’s about choosing to live in the present and stop reliving the past. It’s about choosing a future free from the grip of past hurts.
Moving Toward a Life of Freedom
Addiction and emotional pain are powerful forces, but they do not define who you are or who you can become. Healing is a journey, and it begins with the understanding that the past does not have to dictate your future. As Dr. Urschel suggests, healing the addicted brain requires both medical intervention and emotional healing. And as Dr. Cloud so wisely states, healing also requires letting go of what holds us back, so we can choose to move forward into a healthier, more fulfilling life.
Choosing to let go is an act of strength, not weakness. It’s the first step toward reclaiming your power, your peace, and your life. And when we stop reliving the same wounds, we can finally experience the freedom that healing brings.
If you are in need of support and live in Texas or are close to my practice, feel free to reach out and consider my services that help people let go of ongoing processes that are a struggle to free themselves from. My Rooted Soul Counseling