Love Casts


1 John 4:18

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts outfear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

Recent thoughts and circumstances brought this to mind that there is something to fear, but fear itself is not to control unless we allow such to occur. The last part of this verse was stark against the walls of my psyche when I thought about how imperfect I must be. The verse found in Scripture that indicates that love allows us to cast such thoughts to the depths has deeper meaning to me. Have you prayed such a prayer lately with someone in your life or for yourself? The love of God is not tangible to us in our circumstances, but we can seek it through God’s Spirit to be present in our time of need. It never left.

I find that I had left by turning toward something in my life that was creating an attraction toward imperfect love. I am reminded of the pull of addiction and how it manifests itself in turning toward a choice that is imperfect and temporary. It allows the imperfect to be greater in my attention than the perfect love that casts out the fear. I run from fear and find that when I run with abandon, I may need to stop to see if I am running toward what I need to find safety. Of course my local minister would definitely indicate the sinfulness of such a passion as addiction or turning toward imperfection. Were I to truly count the times where my attention is where it does not need to be, I am fearful. I am fearful of where my mind indicates I need discipline, and often the discipline is not perceived as assistance to right my ways or wrongful thinking. Discipline is said to be in a loving way something that is a temporary pain for the gain of the eternal. Discipline fashions, creates, and soothes. How? Fashions our minds into right thinking and insulates us from choices that cause more pain than the pain we experience of daily living. Creates pattern that increases my habitual attitude and choice so that I may maintain my gains and remain safe. Soothes the spirit when I step over imaginary limits and real limits by involuntary or fully wounding myself again.

The wounds of a Father are critical to a child’s survival. Certainly I am not speaking of abusive patterns. Wounds of abusive nature are something addressed by many clients I see. I am speaking to the wounds of a loving father who desires that their son or daughter remain within their limits. Sometimes early on these wounds are created within the system of a loving home, but how do we learn to love with discipline, rather than abusing disciplines power? I found that there was a definite power balance or art of power in learning how to create connection and peace before addressing a crossed limit with any other human being. It will do you good to connect before you admonish.

Do you or can you think about a time when a child of yours was seeking love? What was the way they reduced their shrieking and screaming? What did they seek from you in order to self regulate? What love was soothing to them?

Various forms of love are conveyed in behaviors that we exhibit to each other. Love is a behavior more than any other concept of love I am aware. False love would have us believe what we see in social media, movies, or fits of passion. True love is making space for someone to attach and interact with you in the fashion they crave and need and when they request, attuning to the need they express with recognition and timeliness. A Father wound or loving admonition at the right time will create a lifetime of blessing if the child hears and heeds the warning. Such a word would live within you as a spring of value and well being.

So are you helping your loved ones to create value in your relationship by loving without creating fear? This reduces the static in the relationship, increases the sweet sensation on the spoon, or makes room for fits of laughter.

True love casts out fear by confronting the things within us that would create fear, or finding the fears and speaking love in the form of truth to reduce the painful burden of the lies we may have believed. The lies often start with “You’ll never…” “I always…” “ever since…” “every time…” or “you should have…”, which are the beginnings of the phrases of the voices within me that either were attempting to place limits for good, or created limits of shame because the expectations and versions I hear in my head were not the way they may have really been, but they measured me against something that I am not. When I tell myself what I am not and remind myself of the “not’s” in life, it’s a really tough spiral to stop. A key is the “I’AM’s”. Not dog food silly. The things that you are. The I am’s of life are identity marks that create love or lack, and the lacks are where truth infused with grace is a key to healing.

So, cast out fear by creating a space where you can hear your internal dialogue and adopt loving truth. Maybe you struggle with a truth dialogue within you and you want for someone to help you hear new truth or old truth that will be a balm.

The love is within us when we accept the Lord and he infuses us with his Spirit. Without Jesus we do not have love. Take a moment if you haven’t and know new life in Jesus by asking Jesus to show up and still the raging storm, perfect the love in you, and create the space in our minds and hearts that make fear flee.

I have seen couples with some time create better dialogue in my office that reduces their desire to flee. I have seen teen’s struggling with impulse and doubt find better ground when they realize grace can be had. I have found broken men and women find a well of love that is the source of true healing.

Perfect Love Cast’s Out Fear