Divorce and Realtors
I was privileged to be able to be a resource panelist at a local seminar for DFW Realtors talking about divorce. I am so glad to have met many local realtor professionals. Thank you again for being intentional about how you create excellence!
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This has been a recent joint venture into learning more about what it means to be connected to area businesses who are improving their serve. As I understood more the basic and individual functions of each member and the attending realtors, I was amazed at their process and the individual care they determine and work with. The intellectual expertise and mind meld was so stimulating to me.
I heard especially clearly from the financial expert, Sam Thornal with Encircle Wealth Advisors, he really stressed the amount of problems that occur when the assets are reviewed and whether or not there are assets that would need to be sold before the divorce is finalized or what the courts would determine are appropriate divisions. His ability to help women and men take their assets and protect them so that they are making more out of what they have really make sense as the budgets are so skewed in divorce situations. Frequently there are secrets that occur with hidden debt that would also come out from one spouse or the other and this can be avoided by engaging an expert and seeking his wisdom as to how to move forward. The courts do not indicate ownership of a debt being one person or the other. The entity of marriage is what frequently holds the debt and so one is responsible for the financial concerns of your spouse and you could be liable for egregious uses of credit.
Family Law Attorney Lisa Hernandez from MacKoy, Hernandez, & Qualls, LLP about the difficulty of managing personalities and problems when it came to dividing assets that are a frequent part of marriage. With Texas being a State that does not recognize separations and the focus is on protecting the children, it is honorable but time consuming to manage and seek equality. None would say this is an equal process, however and that was much of the discussion about how much a real estate professional should defer to a specialist for many of the questions and process involved.
Guild Mortgage Lender Crystal Parkinson brought a lot of insight into the finalizing of the financial picture when qualifying for a loan. How necessary it is to have a process and if you are not careful there are many things that can effect your credit score. Frequently I have heard about the bankruptcy process that couples frequently go through and Crystal was very aware of this. Crystal also noted that a difference in concepts regarding what a wealthy constituent thinks they can afford and what they really are able to qualify for is 2 very different concepts. A wife that has been able to live in a half million dollar home and be a house wife will not be able to retain the lifestyle that she had with her husband should they part ways. As a counselor thinking about this area and know this a big part of the grief caused when couples are unfaithful.
Escrow Officer, Deanna Oellerman, with First Western Title described the way that there are so many details regarding title processes and that she has been privy to so much brokenness when the spouse who is fighting harder for their way ends up really injuring the other spouse who may have been happy until they learned of their marriage partners infidelity. I noted that many kids and spouses are left with giving up the family home, moving education locations, being able or not able to remain in the same district, dealing with court decisions that maintain an added burden on the family, and talking about the process of how contentious it can be to determine who is the heir of property brought into the marriage upon death of in-laws and also who holds the deeds to estate properties that are entrusted or having to be sold due to not being secured by one of the spouses in a trust or other legal entity.
With all of the business process and terms being stated, I took a different tactic with My Rooted Soul Counseling as I was an expert in the relationship of emotions to persons in the roof and clients they serve. I had the attention of the group when I was addressing the realtors emotions, the clients emotions, and the emotions of the process of gaining or losing what had once been a dream for many people. Like a demolition ball running itself through a building there is no part of real estate that is not touched by the social relationship of divorce. This is a similar connection to how mental health is to the well being of a client. I see how there could be bias in a professional to want to side with a spouse or children and I cautioned against such behavior. I implored the professionals to consider seeking out advice from a counselor when they note that their clients are having trouble making decisions or how to approach the table themselves in a very emotional and volatile situation. I also brought up the effect of stress and how some of the clients could be navigating thoughts of suicide and what would one do in such a situation if a client noted this to be true. If you or a loved one are in such a space, please consider dialing the National Suicide Hotline or keeping this in your contacts on your mobile phone. 1-800-SUI-CIDE. It is better to be prepared first than to regret not having been aware and missed an opportunity to make a true difference in a life.
I hope this is useful and insight oriented if you are in the real estate profession as to how a counselor could provide for a smoother function and delivery not only from your own perspective, but also dealing with the client emotions and anxiety when they are making decisions that frequently involve how their future will turn and gain or fall. More than not it is a fall, unless one is very savvy and has a team of experts to rely on through the divorce process. I would highly recommend the services of the above professionals.
I love thinking about how to create safe spaces for people to remain married. I know it seems a little in-congruent to blog about this process in this way, because I am in no way an advocate of divorce, but I do agree in cases of egregious abuse that it is a necessary evil. I know that I am thankful to have walked through separations and marriages that have been on the brink of divorce, have sometimes divorced and then sometimes remarried because the individuals were able to grow and mature and heal their individual hurts while being separate. If you or a friend are in need of my network or my expertise as a counselor please don't hesitate to pick up the phone right now and call 972-716-3841. I would relish and be encouraged to fight for your marriage as hard as I can fight for my own.
We are simply networking as single representatives of our respective processes and would love to be engaging the professional population with what we know so as to satisfy and create safe public and private interactions to increase customer and personal well being. Please feel free to contact one of these individual representatives directly based on your circumstances..